Wife: Why do you go out on the balcony, when I start singing.
Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.
One day Dan asks Bob, “So Bob what you got for Christmas?”
Then Bob says to Dan, “Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?”
Dan says, “OOOOH WOW!!!”
Bob says, “Ya, I got the same exact color tie!”
Wife: “What are you doing?”
Wife: “Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour.”
Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”